how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
