I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
