and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
