I wannas sexs uuuuu
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
