so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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