I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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