I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
