Small penises have feelings too.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
