im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
