careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
