i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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