Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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