In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I pour the whiskey from now on
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap