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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.

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• (323): View more from California

  No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  be sure to add "office slut" to your resume

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  ...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Matt's offering to breast feed it.

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