i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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