My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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