the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
