It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
