How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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