Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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