So gin and wine won't be happening again
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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