we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
