Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm really busy with my period
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