there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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