i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
