No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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