Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize