So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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