I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
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He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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