dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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