wat bout pragnant strippers??
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
