I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.