Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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