It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Boobs speak an international language.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
