How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
