New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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