I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
