I seem to have left my pride at pride
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize