Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
