Will you blow on my dice?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
