I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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