All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
