the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
