he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Someone shattered a urinal.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize