You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
