i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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