I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
