porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
