I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
