i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
