i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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