Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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