Moan for me like Helen Keller
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
