i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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