ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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