he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Everclear isn't food dammit
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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