He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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