I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
