What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
