even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
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