By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.