I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
zippers are such a cool invention
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
