Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home