he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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