Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
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You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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