The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?