Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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