In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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