My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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