i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
