I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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